Life after death: Widow shares her story

GEORGE NEWS - When your partner dies, you face a difficult journey that only those walking the path can fully comprehend. A small audience had the privilege to listen to the story of local journalist and copywriter Athane Scholtz, guest speaker at an event at the George Arts Theatre on Tuesday 16 July.

Linda Nortje of Adviceworx, an independent financial services provider, facillitated the event and invited the public to receive guidance on this important matter.

Scholtz was widowed at the age of 47 when her husband, Desmond, died during the Covid-pandemic in 2021. "When you grieve, there is an emotional and a spiritual side, but I never knew the impact it would have on my body and my mind," said Scholtz. "You go back to work, and your brain is just not in it. I could go on until 12:00, and then it would just shut off."

She said after losing her husband, she had to deal with trauma, but also with the fact that she will never be the same person as before. "I was asked once if it ever gets better. It gets different, but I wouldn't define it as better. Just different," said Scholtz.

Her advice is to find people outside the sphere of your spouse and children, that can share your space. A church group, interest group, hobby or sport.

"You need a support system. If you are an introvert, start with one person. Get something going. Get some activity that is for you. The bravest thing you can do, is get brave now," said Scholtz. "Be brave and make a difference."

She also said it is important to have a life file containing documents such as divorce papers from a previous marriage. "It does not matter if your husband has been divorced for years. You still need to keep those documents close. Keep everything together."

Guest speaker Athane Scholtz (second from right) signs a copy of her book for her neighbour and friend, Lizeth Stenvert (right). From left are Elaine Kuyler (Old Mutual Wealth), June Scheepers (guest speaker from Old Mutual Wealth), Pieter Nortje (Adviceworx), Mike Webb (Adviceworx) and Linda Nortje (Adviceworx). Photos: Michelle Pienaar

June Scheepers, a guest speaker from Old Mutual Wealth, pointed out the importance of being on top of your finances, knowing how much you need to get by on your own.

"Know the pin of your husband's phone, their passwords for the laptop, the security codes. Where do you keep the will?"

The need for a talk on life after the loss of a husband or partner stems from a loss in the lives of Pieter and Linda Nortje of Adviceworx. "When Andrew Fisher passed away on 16 April this year we were shocked. It was so quickly," said Pieter Nortje. "We felt the need to talk about this, and hopefully help someone."

Athane Scholtz published a book on her life after the loss of her husband in 2021. Photo: Michelle Pienaar