BLOG - Also tired of hearing the words Covid-19, lockdown and protocols night and day? So I've steered away from bats, bugs and rhetoric from floundering ANC ministers, and rather share a comic experience I had while helping out on a Karoo newspaper when Corona still meant beer.
I was in need of a new pair of takkies. The old ones, heavenly on the feet, but off the feet redolent with the aroma of rotting carcasses.
On a walkabout in the dorp I came across a shoe shop called Shoe Shop.
The owner, Giepie, guffawed at my request for a size 12.
"Haven't had a request for that since a rugby team from the old Cape Province toured this region."
"Must've sold plenty size 12s?"
"No, don't stock'em. But they walked away with plenty of shoe boxes."
Was he purposefully trying to confuse me, or had he been smoking socks?
"Want to see what I have out back?"
"What? Nikes?"
"No, Wild Dog."
"What size?"
"All same size."
I'd had enough and said goodbye.
In the barber shop around the corner I mentioned Giepie's name. The comb froze in mid-air. "Giepie from Shoe Shop?"
"Tried to buy a pair of size 12 takkies."
The comb came down, whacking me on the left ear.
"Takkies? From Giepie?"
Fed up with the Giepie saga, but being entrapped in the barber's chair, thought I'd pursue the subject. What, I asked, was so funny about trying to purchase a size 12 from a shoe shop?
"No, no! It’s got nothing to do with takkies or size. Didn't he ask you to go to the back of the shop?"
"As a matter of fact he did, and said something about Wild Dog."
" Now you know."
"Know what?"
"Wild Dog comes in only one size. Fits in your back pocket."
I visualise a pair of shoes folding into a neat little bundle.
"Cool. Must get back there and buy a couple of pairs."
"Pairs? No need, it comes in single bottles."
"Bottled shoes?"
The comb again came close.
"Wild Dog is mampoer. Giepie has a mampoer distillery at the back. The shoes are a front."
So the Province rugby players made off with shoe boxes filled with Wild Dog. No wonder they scored tries - and won games.
After lockdown the Stormers should urgently look up the Shoe Shop.
