Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the death of Nelson Mandela.
This past Sunday his right-hand woman, Zelda la Grange, wrote in a letter to her beloved Khulu published in the Sunday Times: "I have noticed the sharp decline in mutual respect among our people, friend and foe."
This reminded me of something my step-dad said a while ago. He said that the entire constitution can be replaced with just one word: respect. If people respect themselves, one another and nature, our constitution will soon become a white elephant.
Women's Minister Susan Shabangu recently incurred the wrath of women's rights groups, the DA and the media when she said men are supposed to be protectors of society. "Men are supposed to be protectors of families. We need to bring back these protectors of society. We need to mobilise our protectors."
She said this when announcing that this year's 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign is aimed at getting men to actively oppose and speak out against violence with the theme 'Count me in'.
Although I understand the hidden dangers contained in the belief that men should protect women (enforcing patriarchal views and im-plying that women need taking care of), I think Shabangu's plea was shot down in flames a tad too hastily.
She was lambasted to the extent where I thought that the meaning of the word 'protector' had perhaps been changed and that I had missed the announcement.
What on earth is wrong with someone being encouraged to protect another human being? I have been known to fiercely protect some males in my life. Not exclusively, but I have known many men who have been in need of a woman to stand up for them.
Feminist activists (whom I support) should be careful not to underestimate the realities faced by their financially dependent sisters who find themselves in abusive relationships within male dominated, violent societies.
Men who believe that they are the 'boss' and are allowed to 'discipline' women, will only come to see women as equals and worthy of respect, after decades of education and their male offspring will only treat their future wives with respect if they are exposed to positive role mo-dels themselves. So a quick fix does not exist.
For positive change to occur they need exposure to real life examples of appealing equal partnerships - a space where they find fulfilment and are not ridiculed by their friends for not cracking the whip.
While many men still regard themselves as the superior sex, we may just be able to convince them to buy into Shabangu's 'protection' campaign. An abused woman does not have the luxury to philosophise about feminist concepts or gender roles and would welcome a knight in shining armour with open arms - even if he is seen by women's rights groups as chauvinist and sexist.
A well-run campaign may just coerce traditio-nal males to treat their loved ones with kindness and respect without leaving them feeling emasculated.
Iconic Hollywood actress Mae West famously said: "Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out from what."
South African women have figured it out. Now we just need Mae West's men.
BY ILSE SCHOONRAAD, GEORGE HERALD EDITOR
