GEORGE NEWS - "You are not a product of what happened to you in your life, but of how you react to what happens to you."

This was part of a highly inspiring message by Alison Botha, the guest speaker at the Nelson Mandela University's community dialogue last Thursday evening. It was held at the George banqueting hall. The theme was gender-based violence.

Botha, who was raped, viciously assaulted and left for dead 24 years ago, shared with her audience that there is an opportunity to learn from all the things that happen in life. Through her motivational talks, she shares what she has learned through her journey of overcoming fear, forgiving others and healing over the years following the assault. Her attackers, Theuns Kruger and Frans du Toit, were sentenced to life imprisonment.

Botha said after the court trial she was resentful, angry and depressed, but she learned that blaming her attackers for how her life was affected was disempowering her. "If you blame others for your situation, they have the power over the choices you make."

She said that we get to put our own soundtrack to our life, be it positive with a bright outlook on life or negative, and in that way we influence others for better or for worse.

The self-worth that her mother had instilled in her as a child was what saved her after the attack. She had to get herself from the crime scene in a secluded forest to a road some metres away, after having been stabbed and her throat slit multiple times. When she realised that she could not crawl, she got up and had to literally hold her head in place with her hands. 

She fell many times, but got up again and again. While 99% of her being told her that she could die with each step she took, there was 1% that told her to take just one more step. 

"It is that 1% that saved me. I wanted to give up, but the fact that I believed I was worthy of living, kept me getting up again. Never let anyone doubt your self-worth or strip you of it. We are valuable beyond measure. You have control over this attitude towards yourself."

The evening was concluded with a question and answer session during which difficult questions were raised. One issue was the ongoing violence and abuse of people despite endless campaigns against it. 

Botha said that abuse grows in silence and that the more light we shine on it, the better. "We should speak about it openly and create a safe space for victims to speak."

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