'Abstain or use protection'

GEORGE NEWS - "I felt shocked, scared and lonely. I had no support from my family. I dropped out of school."

This was a young mother's experience after she found out that she was pregnant and was kicked out by her grandmother with whom she was living.

She thought the only way out was abortion, but she chose life for her baby and her own life path changed for the better after she sought help from the George Options Care Centre.

As all the other girls who have found refuge under Options' wings for the past 24 years, this girl received the support she needed to get through the pregnancy and birth, and the support continues to help her be a mother in challenging circumstances.

This girl returned to school and has just completed her matric exam.

Teen pregnancy need not be a lonely road and the end of your school career. Teens who have fallen pregnant say they wish they could have received support and love rather than being gossiped about and rejected. Some manage to let hurtful remarks at school roll off them, but most remain deeply wounded.

A number of girls who receive counselling and attend care groups at Options spoke about their experience of rejection by family, pressure to abort, being ridiculed at school - even by teachers - low self-esteem, hurt and anger, and then finding a safe, unprejudiced support system at Options.

Says one of the young mothers, "I didn't know how to be a mother. I was a child with a child, but with the help at Options it all changed and I could go on with my life."

Studying with a crying baby

The group of girls' message to other girls out there is, "Abstain or use protection. It is not easy to look after a crying baby at night while having to study and write a test the next day. You have yourself to look after too. You get very tired. But if it happens, do not make a decision before speaking to your parents, and get to Options where you will find support and information that will help you make the best choice for your future."

Boyfriends, like parents, often push for abortion, but not all fathers dodge their responsibility. One of the girls says her boyfriend has been a great support while her family rejected her, and he remains supportive and involved with their child.

Premature pregnancy stresses body and soul

Monia Bredenkamp, head of training and education at Options, says the impact of teenage pregnancy is far-reaching. "It requires a massive psychological adjustment. In addition, the body is placed under extreme stress because the reproductive system has not matured yet.

This increases the risk of complications during the pregnancy and at birth, as well as for the eventual care of the baby. The part of the brain that is responsible for sober thinking, planning and weighing risk and consequences, is only fully developed by age 25. Teenagers are normally self-focused and make decisions based on emotions and impulse."

Bredenkamp says pregnant teenagers must also be well informed about the risks of abortion.

"I have counselled many young women over the years who were presenting with symptoms of post abortion syndrome - anxiety, nightmares, depression, anger outbursts and depression are just some of the symptoms. None of the options in a crisis pregnancy is easy. Abortion, parenting or placing the baby for adoption are all hard and difficult choices. Early education at the start of the adolescent phase of life is one of the best ways to equip a young person and help them to make healthy sexual choices."

She says often parents reject their pregnant daughter.

"They struggle to handle their emotions of disappointment and anger. Their dreams for their daughter are shattered and in most cases they push for abortion because they see it as the easiest way out. It is preferable for parents to also receive counselling. The first intervention is to provide a safe space in which they can explore their feelings, pressures and resources in order to make a decision. We provide non-manipulative and non-judgmental counselling. Eventually, most of the girls continue to attend their support groups long after they have had their babies."

Stay in school

Options director Laurie Edwall says their main purpose is to help the pregnant girl stay in school. "We provide support, encouragement and some practical help. We also help them make better sexual decisions and encourage them to go for their dreams and goals."

One of the girls helped by Options has just finished university with the help of a bursary. "There were also good relational outcomes with the families in this case. But it is not easy at all. It takes a lot of determination."

Options director Laurie Edwall (left) and head of training Monia Bredenkamp. Photos: Alida de Beer