LIFESTYLE NEWS - Thobeka Phanyeko is the Johannesburg-based single mom of Oratile (three), and she shares her tips on managing life with a toddler.
Being a single mom means you’re constantly plugged into your child’s life, so you may find yourself just going through the motions. Add an energetic toddler to the mix and there you have it… a whirlwind of emotions, tantrums and that 10-pm “Mommy, I can’t sleep” refrain.
You drag yourself out of bed to sing the lullaby you thought was stored neatly back in tomorrow’s arsenal, before collapsing into slumberland, conscious of the clock because in just a few hours the cycle begins… again.
Build a strong network around you
Have supportive friends and family you can call when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Joining an online community of single moms can also help you to feel less alone and more connected.
It’s always comforting to know that your situation is more common than you think. Call a friend and vent, share your experiences with other moms, but don’t live in a void because you’re bound to feel smothered.
Incorporate downtime in your daily schedule and get your toddler to participate
If you enjoy reading, schedule an hour or two to catch up on your favourite book and give your little one a book to read as well. You’ll be doing something you enjoy while spending quality time with your child.
Also teach her the importance of me-time, so that when she’s older, she can appreciate the value of reconnecting with herself, and accepting that others must do so too.
Let go of the idea of perfection
You are doing the best you can, so there’s no need to be hard on yourself. After a long day at work, you can’t possibly expect yourself to whip up a three-course meal.
On days when you’re tired, it’s perfectly OK to order something in and put your feet up. Everyone is fed and you still have the energy to give your little one a bath before bedtime.
Plan your meals
It’s also a good idea to cook and store meals for the week ahead. This is a real time and energy saver.
Be honest with your child
Sometimes, you only need a few minutes to yourself. Simply tell your child that mommy needs a few minutes to regroup and that she can read her favourite book or watch her best-loved movie for a bit.
Be present
Give him your undivided attention and be genuinely curious. Notice what he enjoys doing so that when you’re doing activities together, he can see how happy you are. And when you request some quiet time, he will find it easier to oblige.
You are doing the best you can, so there’s no need to be hard on yourself.
Plan fun activities with your child
This means she’ll have something to look forward to and will appreciate the opportunity to put her energy to good use. Bounce is a great idea because there are no age restrictions, and you and your tot will burn off some energy and frustration.
'We bring you the latest Garden Route, Hessequa, Klein Karoo news'
