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GEORGE NEWS - Hélène Botha, a trained physiotherapist based in rural Sedgefield who works in wellness guiding, says she is still recovering from what she describes as the trauma of a brief relationship with Bevan van Druten (53).
More than a year later, she has chosen to reclaim her life and use her experience to support others dealing with trauma.
Botha says she is one of several women who have obtained restraining orders against Van Druten.
Van Druten is currently facing a Schedule 6 murder charge in connection with the death of Nicky van Heerden (54) and remains in custody, awaiting trial.
Botha says they were involved for about a month, but that the experience has continued to affect her more than a year later.
In her own words, Botha describes what she says happened and the impact it had on her:
Hélène Botha's story
"Fifteen months ago, after heartbreak, I became involved with a man for a month. When I ended, or tried to end, the relationship, he snapped. He changed and suddenly became scary and dangerous to me."
The man she refers to is Van Druten.
Botha says Van Druten also trespassed on her farm and on a neighbouring farm that Rocco Viljoen was looking after. She says a fight later broke out between Van Druten and Viljoen.
"Because of this, the last while of my life has been filled with anxiety and fear in my own home. My planned year-long sabbatical, during which I intended to write a coffee table book and rest, was rudely interrupted. Instead, my time away from work took a completely different trajectory, one of reclaiming my body and my sense of self. My body had become closed off and fearful of close-up encounters with men. I had also lost confidence in my ability to make good choices.
"Once I started describing myself as a survivor of narcissistic abuse and possible bodily harm, I began making peace with what had happened. When I remembered to trust my gut again, as I had done when I chose not to be at home when he arrived on the property, I slowly began becoming more like my old self.
"After hours of sharing my story with friends, psychologists and a trauma counsellor, the incident gradually had less of a hold on my psyche. I began integrating back into society and reconnecting with people I felt safe around. A combination of somatic practices, breathwork and spending time in nature helped me move out of the state of shock I had been living in.
It was only after committing to daily walks or jogs in nature that my body began to feel safe again.
Hélène Botha at a protest in Plettenberg Bay. Photo: Marguerite van Ginkel
"I recently turned 41. After reflecting on my own story and sharing it many times, I realised it was time to give back. I offered 41 story-sharing sessions, during which I would simply listen. I mainly listened to stories of abuse, survival, post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD], guilt, shame and feeling completely frozen. It is important to have a space where a person feels safe enough to express themselves and be heard.
"My experience has taught me that recovering from trauma is a process. For me, it meant learning to trust myself, my body and my instincts again. I am still recovering, but I am reclaiming my life."
For more information about Botha's work, follow her on Instagram, Facebook or YouTube on 'A Life Revolution' or visit her website at www.aliferevolution.com
Video: Watch as Botha shares about her experience and journey to recovery
George Herald approached Van Druten's attorney, Peter Daubermann, for comment on the allegations and gave his client an opportunity to respond. No response had been received by the time of going to press.
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