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RoboNurse, please pass the bed pan

15
By the year 2050 robots and humans will be cohabiting under one roof. There's even suggestions of official inter-marriages becoming the norm. This boggles the mind.
 
Coupling would take on a totally different dimension. Humans providing the emotions, whereas robots solely the physicality; noise levels reaching unheard of decibels. Add that to a mixture of screams, clanking of robotic moving parts and bedsprings. Disgusted 'normal' neighbours are sure to complain to the cops about the tin din after ten at night. Barking dogs no longer an issue.
 
This anti-societal behaviour (I mean, what else can it be?), would unleash a crescendo of protestations from protectors of morals and ethics. Personally, I can't see this happening. Flesh and blood enjoined with a cold, loveless machine? No way. But then again, we laughed at Jules Verne who wrote about space, air, and underwater travel before navigable aircraft and practical submarines were invented, and before any means of space travel had been devised. So, who knows?
 
Robots used solely as workers would be useful. They could be programmed to bring you your newspaper, slippers and some liquid refreshment while reclining in your rocking chair after a hard day's gardening. They could even handle the tv remote and find decent films and features (a hard job with the present garbage dished up). My Heidi too, could have her own robot to do her bidding – including serving dinner on tv trays.
 
UK researchers see robots being 'employed' as companions to the lonely seniors. Especially those dumped in old age homes by horrid and unsympathetic relatives could find succor in having friendly robots around them 24/7. The tin people could also be programmed to assist the infirmed who can't help themselves with basic toiletry issues. If it were me, I'd prefer a robot to help with the bedpan rather than a human nursemaid. Far less embarrassing. Picking stuck particles from dentures another handy chore for the metal maid.
 
The religious angle? A robot walks into a church and an elder says they don't welcome robots. The robot says, "Oh, but someday you will." Oops.
 
A robotic parliament? Anything is better than the present bunch. Imagine a president programmed to make intelligent judgements and speeches.
 
Oh, and with robots, no colour or gender issues.
 
Hope all this comes about when I need nappies.
 
BY CLIFF BUCHLER
12:54 (GMT+2), Wed, 04 January 2017
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